


The Best Part Of Me

by Krasimer



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Based On a D&D Game, D&D Gods, Except not undead, It's Johann you cowards, Johan lives, Johann gets brought back from the dead, M/M, Minor Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Sort Of, Think Kravitz and read, To keep the balance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-16 00:24:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14152638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krasimer/pseuds/Krasimer
Summary: Johann had been remembered, in the end. He had never wanted to be forgotten, had always been afraid of it.And now the entire world knew his song.His voice.





	The Best Part Of Me

Avi took Johann’s favorite cloak.

He took the half-elf’s favorite boots and cloak and his favorite gods-damned violin and he took the little duck that Magnus carved for him. Avi had, he decided as he wandered through the bureau after that decisive battle, quite fucking enough of being in a place where all he can think of, all he can see, is what remained of the person he’d loved.

Johann had spent his entire life being brilliant and wonderful and beautiful and the world hadn’t fucking known it until he was dead.

Avi might have been a little bitter.

His pack, stuffed full of things that were all his now, no sense in sorting it out by owner, shifted against his back as he wandered through the woods. The Director – Madam Director, Lucretia, the story-teller and the Chronicler – had taken it pretty well when he’d handed over his resignation. She had only asked that he stay long enough to train his replacement in the basics of handling the cannon system. His heart had felt heavy in his chest as he did so, an almost welcome relief from the numbness that overtook his entire being.

Johann had been remembered, in the end. He had never wanted to be forgotten, had always been afraid of it.

And now the entire world knew his song.

His voice.

Avi paused in his tracks, wiping roughly at his face. His eyes burned, prickling up in a mixture of pain and numbness. Johann was gone. Avi was never going to see him again. He would never have to go down to the Voidfish’s chambers to drag a reluctant and sleep-deprived half-elf to bed again. A part of him wanted to be relieved – attaching himself to another person had always seemed like a bad idea in the world they lived in. They had lived in the world of the Bureau of Balance. Forgotten once dead except by those who already knew.

But he couldn’t be relieved.

Johann had been such a bastard, at times. Finicky and perfectionist and overly critical of everyone including himself. Including of Avi. Harsh with his words at times and gods – just sometimes so unthinkingly harsh in his words. Not in any sort of conscious way, just…

But he had been so good.

When prodded, Johann would fight to protect those he loved. His songs were beautiful, just like him. He had a fondness for children and he had only ever wanted the world to know what his music was like. He had never wanted to be forgotten.

And now the world could never forget him.

Taako and his sister – holy shit he had someone just like him running around, that was terrifying – and Magnus and Merle had ensured that. Whatever they had done with the Voidfish had ensured that. The world had needed his words, right then, had needed his music and his spirit and that was always the greatest part of him. His spirit and his songs and his goddamned talent and that was what Johann had prided himself on. He had been a good person, despite the cantankerousness of him and the unthinkingly harsh comments. He had never meant any harm by it, there had just been less of a filter from his mind to his mouth.

Setting up a small camp, building a fire under the shade of a tree, Avi leaned back against the trunk, letting his eyes fall closed.

Johann had been kind, when the occasion called for it.

Avi shuffled into a ball, his knees curled to his chest, and tried not to burst into tears. The Seven had made it through a century of travel, where they had been tested and judged and broken and killed and hated and loved. He was a single man, alone in the world and his entire self numb from a broken heart. With a sigh, Avi felt himself falling asleep, everything going dark behind his eyelids.

Maybe he could be just as brave as them, he thought.

The last thing he heard, thought he heard, was the sound of a violin playing just at the edges of his awareness.

 

When he woke up in the morning, his fire was out and his body was a little stiff.

The sun wasn’t very high in the sky yet, still early, and the dew was still in the grass. Around him, in a circle, the dew had already burned off. His fire pit was still smoldering, he realized. The dew had probably been taken care of by the last flames, keeping him warm as he slept. Something made him check on the violin as he stretched, his back cracking.

The case was unlatched on one side.

Avi frowned and latched it shut again. It must have happened while he was traveling, the latch worked loose while he walked. For a moment, he chided himself about checking on it more often.

It had been Johann’s favorite, after all. The least he could do was protect it.

Hesitating, he opened the case again. The instrument inside of it was beautiful, a red-toned wood of some kind. Johann had lectured him about it multiple times, had chided him, had scolded and ranted and it had been adorable at the time but now it made something in his chest clench tight. Remembering hurt, thinking hurt, _existing_ hurt.

Because he was supposed to exist without Johann at his side.

Avi scowled, yanking his hands back before he could touch the instrument, then closed the case again. Johann wasn’t here, anymore. People remembered him, people knew his name and his voice and his song, but he wasn’t here.

Packing up and kicking dirt over the fire to make sure it was completely out, Avi continued on.

 

He heard the music every time he was drifting off to sleep.

It was like some sort of curse, almost. Johann’s songs would fill his mind as he drifted off, the beauty of them following him into his dreams. Avi all at once loved it and hated it.

And when he woke, the case was always halfway unlatched.

 

About a week and a half after he had set off, Avi was woken up in the middle of the night.

When he came back to awareness, he realized that there was music playing. Violin music. Jolting, he sat upright and grabbed for his knife, holding it out threateningly. “Whoever you are,” he growled the words out, “Put the fucking violin _back in the case_ and you will _survive_ the encounter with me!”

The music stopped, the final notes ringing out softly.

Avi blinked a couple of times, trying to see in the darkness around him. Something was glowing, casting light around the clearing he had found to camp in that night. His vision cleared a little and he realized that the light was coming from the person that had invaded his camp and grabbed the violin. When the intruder spoke, Avi dropped the knife and felt tears streaming down his face.

“I’m glad you’re taking care of it,” Johann’s voice was soft, how he’d always sounded when choosing his words carefully. “I’m glad you’re the one who got it.” He was sitting on the tree stump at the edge of the clearing.

Covering his mouth with both hands as he looked at his boyfriend – glowing and spectral and unearthly – Avi sobbed out his next breath, trying to find his own voice. “How –”

“It’s hard to explain,” Johann smiled, a little lopsided. “How long has it been since the day of Story and Song?”

“About three months,” Avi shook his head, trying to sort out his thoughts. Whatever else was happening, he wasn’t sure, but Johann had asked for information. He wanted to give Johann everything he asked for. “Carey and Killian are getting married in about another nine months.” He watched as Johann nodded, the violin in the rest position Johann had always preferred, in his lap. The bow was held at an exact angle, always so careful. “I’m going to their wedding, but I just…”

“You’re out here, alone,” Johann’s face shifted into a mixture of guilt and sadness. “Avi, you should never be alone. When you’re alone, your thoughts start getting to you and you’re…”

“I know,” Avi was back to sobbing as he dropped to his knees next to the apparition of his boyfriend. “ _I know._ But I didn’t have _you_ ,” he could feel his entire body tensing up as he leaned his forehead against Johann’s thigh, trying to breathe. It was like trying to press against a cloud of smoke, only a little more solid than that.

He felt a hand in his hair. “It isn’t time yet,” Johann said quietly. “But it will be soon.”

Avi felt himself drift off again.

 

In the morning, he woke up slumped over the tree stump. The violin, in the case, was cradled in his arms.

 

“Taako,” Avi spoke into his stone of Farspeech. “I need a bit of a favor.”

“Oh?” The elf sounded amused. “The fuck is up, my dude? Haven’t heard from you in a long-ass time.”

“You’re dating the Grim Reaper, right?”

Taako hesitated, Avi could hear it. “…Yeah?”

“Can you either ask him to come see me or ask him if he ever collected Johann’s soul?”

 

“I would just like to thank you,” Kravitz said as he stepped through a portal to Avi’s camp, “For letting me know about a missing soul.”

Avi stared up at him, eyebrows arched, until the skeletal face disappeared behind a manifestation of the face he was more familiar with. After the battle, Taako had spent plenty of time dragging Kravitz around the BoB base, introducing him to people and showing him different things. Kravitz, at the time, had put up with it while wearing a soft smile.

A happy Taako was a thing to behold, after all.

“Missing?”

“Missing,” Kravitz confirmed, sitting on the ground next to Avi, his scythe laid across his lap. “I checked the Ethereal Plane, he is not there. I checked in with the other planes that I have ties to in any way, nothing there either. I never collected him,” he paused, his hands working in nervous, shuffling patterns over the handle of his scythe. “And I do not know where he could be.”

There was some double meaning to that, some phrasing that he could parse apart if he could just make his brain focus on it. “What?”

“Avi,” Kravitz looked up to meet his eyes. “I am not even getting notified of him being a missing soul.”

Feeling like the world had been yanked out from under his feet for the second time in the last three days, Avi swallowed nervously. “So he is just a missing soul? What, does the Raven Queen not care about –”

Kravitz glared at him, hands clenched tightly on his scythe where he had it almost pressed to Avi’s throat. “We will find out what is happening,” he told him. “But you would do well not to insult her.” He shifted his scythe back into his lap. “I know you’re grieving, Avi,” his voice was softer now. “But we will figure this out. Fretting uselessly will not help.”

He stood up and paused, then awkwardly patted Avi on the shoulder. “I will keep you updated on what I find out. Taako has also said he would be willing to pass along messages.”

Another portal opened at the swing of his scythe and then he was gone again.

Avi took a deep breath and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

 

The following night, Johann’s violin was easy to hear from where Avi was gathering firewood.

When he came back to his campsite, Avi set down the wood and watched as Johann played. His fingers danced over the neck of the instrument, skilled and beautiful, and Avi felt his heart almost lurching in his chest.

He had almost forgotten how at-peace Johann looked when he was playing.

Since the bard was standing, Avi walked up behind him and pulled him gently back, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to Johann’s shoulder. For a moment, he allowed himself to pretend that they were home again. That they could and would be together, forever.

Reality had a way of stepping back in, however. “The Raven Queen and Kravitz do not have you listed as a missing soul,” Avi muttered.

“I am not a missing soul,” Johann spoke in between the notes.

“That’s what Kravitz said,” Avi rubbed his face on the half-elf’s shoulder, hands trembling where they clutched at his tunic. “I know I wanted you back, but if you’re breaking rules to be here…”

His eyes itched, tears welling up as he tried to hold them back. When Johann set his violin back into the case and turned to face him, Avi felt his face scrunch up. He wanted to break down and sob and never stop.

“They need a living avatar,” Johann’s voice was soft, soothing like it always was when he knew Avi was at the end of his patience and about to start crying out of frustration. “The gods, after the fight with the Hunger, the consumed planes, after everything – the gods decided that they needed to have emissaries into our world. Into all the worlds.” He brushed tears off of Avi’s face with his thumb. “They wanted souls that had been in that fight so that they would know what had been at stake then, what might be at stake in the future if something like this were to happen again. Avi,” he keened his name out, searching his face. “I was chosen as one of them.”

“So you’re here,” Avi reached up and wrapped his hands around Johann’s wrists. “Really here. For real. For good?”

“Yes,” Johann’s voice shook, tears welling up in his eyes. He swallowed, his entire body starting to tremble. “The god that chose me said something about me being not entirely right but close enough that he could claim me as his emissary. Half-elf as I am, I am a bard and an elf anyway.”

“Corellon Larethian.” Avi felt his jaw drop. “God of elves and music and arts.” He huffed out a laugh, eyebrows raised. “Gods, Johann,” he pressed their foreheads together, letting his eyes close. Some more tears squeezed out, but he ignored them.

“I just,” Johann moved him closer, pressed their cheeks together, Avi’s head half on his shoulder. “My song reached every plane, Avi. My song and _their story_. After that, I was told, I was being considered as an emissary for a few of them.” He laughed as well, a quiet little noise like the news was still settling into his knowledge. “Corellon Larethian stepped forward and put a claim on me. Half-elf status was almost enough to dispute it but the fact that I took part in such a war, played my songs for the world, and even half was enough to allow him to have me as an emissary.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Avi too relieved to have his boyfriend back to do anything beyond hold on to him.

“So,” he forced himself to break the silence after what felt like an eternity. “How is this going to work?”

Johann took a deep breath and pulled back from him, just far enough to see his face. “I think it will work a little like how Kravitz works. The Raven Queen stepped in to argue for Corellon Larethian taking me on as his emissary rather than any of the others and she told me to talk to him. I am to visit other planes and check in on the state of things – if there is a threat like the Hunger, building up once more, I am to report it and take whatever actions I am capable of to prevent it.” He paused, then grinned a little sheepishly. “Keep everything in balance.”

“Why does that seem so fitting,” Avi muttered, scrubbing the heel of his palm into his eyes to try and clear away the tears. “Gods, Johann…”

“I know,” Johann nodded and clasped his hands together behind Avi’s neck. “I missed you, too.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, have some fix-it fic for the death of Johann. Hope you like it.


End file.
